Her creator, Austen, described Elinor in the following way: “She was stronger alone; and her own good sense so well supported her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable, as, with regrets so poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be.”
Elinor had to become the head of her family when her father passed away, leaving them all entirely dependent on the generosity of their brother. And while Marianne suffered the public scandal of thwarted love, Elinor had to be strong for the both of them, even when she was suffering from an intolerable grief of her own. She had to endure the knowledge that she could never be with the person she knew was right for her. But unlike Marianne, she did not wish to pronounce her feelings to the world.
The following conversation demonstrates the difference in the two women and highlights Elinor’s compassion and restraint while being wholly misunderstood.
"Poor Elinor! how unhappy I make you!"
"I only wish," replied her sister, "there were any thing I could do, which might be of comfort to you."
This, as every thing else would have been, was too much for Marianne, who could only exclaim, in the anguish of her heart, "Oh! Elinor, I am miserable, indeed," before her voice was entirely lost in sobs.
Elinor could no longer witness this torrent of unresisted grief in silence.
"Exert yourself, dear Marianne," she cried, "if you would not kill yourself and all who love you. Think of your mother; think of her misery while you suffer: for her sake you must exert yourself."
"I cannot, I cannot," cried Marianne; "leave me, leave me, if I distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! but do not torture me so. Oh! how easy for those, who have no sorrow of their own to talk of exertion! Happy, happy Elinor, you cannot have an idea of what I suffer."
"Do you call me happy, Marianne? Ah! if you knew!—And can you believe me to be so, while I see you so wretched!"
"Forgive me, forgive me," throwing her arms round her sister's neck; "I know you feel for me; I know what a heart you have; but yet you are—you must be happy; Edward loves you—what, oh what, can do away such happiness as that?"
"Many, many circumstances," said Elinor, solemnly.
"No, no, no," cried Marianne wildly, "he loves you, and only you. You can have no grief."
"I can have no pleasure while I see you in this state."
"And you will never see me otherwise. Mine is a misery which nothing can do away."
"You must not talk so, Marianne. Have you no comforts? no friends? Is your loss such as leaves no opening for consolation?”
Elinor’s is the voice of reason. Though she is not without self-doubt, apprehension and sadness of her own, “Elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses, no less than in theirs”. This selflessness and compassion, given without condescension, is what makes Elinor truly admirable.
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