Picking Up the Pieces

By Kerissa

“Oh, Mother, I just don't know what to do.”  Grace sighed and bent slightly as she helped her mother with her leg rehabilitation exercise.

“It has been six months since Van left and I don't know what to do with myself... with my life...”  Grace sighed again, “I thought I had my life all figured out... everything was going so well and then I found out about Van...”  she shook her head.   Sometimes talking to Mother was like talking to a corpse.   The expression was always the same and the response a cold stare.

The two silently continued the exercises until May broke Grace's thoughts.  “Grace.”

“Yes, Mother?”

“I've had enough exercise for today.”  May followed Grace's glance to the clock.

“But, Moth-”

“Oh, Grace,” May broke in.  “If I did all the exercising Juanita wanted me to do I would be fit for the Olympics.”  She fixed Grace with a stare.  “Now.  Please, help me back to my chair.”

***

As Grace walked back to Toppy's home she silently berated herself for sharing some of her woes with May.  Mother may not have had said anything today but the next time Grace visited she certainly knew she would be in for an earful of Mother's advice.   So wrapped in her thoughts, she didn't notice that the person she had walked past was speaking to her.  She jumped and lurched to a halt when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Goodness, Jim, you startled me!”

Jim gave a half-smile, “Forgive me, Grace.  I thought you saw me walk by. How are you?”

“Oh, I'm f-.” Grace broke off and shrugged.

“Pardon?”

Grace sighed.  “Well, I was going to give the usual reply people give, even if they don't mean it, but I'm tired of pretending things are fine.”

“Oh.” Jim frowned, at a loss.  Grace was always so bright and cheerful.  Hearing her confess that things weren't fine was surprising.  “I- I- well...”

Grace smiled.  “It's okay, Jim.  You don't need to say anything.  How are things with you? How is Pritchard doing?  I haven't seen much of him lately. I hope he isn't studying too hard!”

Jim smiled.  This was the bright and sunny Grace he knew.  “Oh, you know, Pritchard, he does love his books.” replied Jim.  “Between his school work and being one of Henry's chess victims he keeps pretty busy.”

“Oh! That's right!” exclaimed Grace. “I'd forgotten that Max was able to incorporate more schools into the chess club.  I'll have to visit Fat and ask him which matches he thinks I should attend.”

“I'm sure he would like that.” Jim paused.   “Grace, it is most fortuitous that we met today.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” replied Jim.  “I told Max that I would take one of his classes to give him some more free time, but I wasn't expecting the extra class to give me so much additional work.   Callie has allowed me to work nights at CRNB, but due to the increased work load, working at CRNB is more than I can handle...” Jim paused, wetting his lips.  “I haven't mentioned anything to Callie yet, as I know she'll try to coerce me into staying on, but if Callie has no objection, would you consider working at CRNB again?”

“Oh, I don't know Jim...  Callie is such a- well, you know Callie.”

Jim chuckled, “That I do.    I thought I would mention my dilemma to you in case you may be interested in working at CRNB for the charming Mrs. Cramp.”

Grace giggled,  “Thank you for thinking of me, Jim.  I'll consider it and get back with you in a day or two.”

Grace watched Jim walk away, wishing that she had not been so hasty in marrying Van.   If only Jim had been more certain that he was ready for a relationship.

***

“Fat!  Can't you do something to amuse Zach?” growled Hub.

Fat looked up from the chess board where he was working out a new opening.  “Why me?  Eddie wants me to learn ten more openings by Saturday and I only have three down!”

Hub snapped the newspaper down.  “It's not my fault you spent the last four nights goofing off with Rebecca and Pritchard!”

Fat scowled and looked up.  “We weren't goofing off! We were just... just.”

“Goofing off.”  Hub picked up the newspaper.

Zach ran up to Hub and poked him in the shoulder several times.  “Hub!  Hub!”

Hub sighed and set the paper down. “What, Zach?”

Zach placed a book on Hub's lap and asked, “Could you read this?”

Glancing at the book revealed that it was the book both Zach and Violet requested to be read to them nearly every night.  Both of them must know it by heart.  In fact, Hub had even heard Violet pretending to read it one day.  She had started school, but was only capable of reading short words.  “Why not ask Violet to read it?”

“She doesn't read it right.” pouted Zach.

“I do too!” protested Violet.

“No you don't!  You don't turn pages at the right time.”

Hub and Fat looked at each other, holding back a laugh.  “Okay, Zach, I'll read it to you, but let me finish reading this article...”   He was interrupted by knock at the door.

“May I answer it, please?” asked Violet.  After Hub's nod she answered door.  “Aunt Grace!”

“Hi, sweetie!  Hi, Zach!”  Grace gave the children both a hug and entered the room.  “Hi, boys, what are you up to?”

“Hi, Aunt Grace.” replied Fat.  “I'm studying chess moves and Hub is reading his precious paper.”

“Oh?  What's the best comic today, Hub?” questioned Grace.

Hub shook his head and smiled.  “I wouldn't know.  Fat took that section.”  Hub grinned at the dirty look Fat gave him.  “I'm reading about what's going on in Europe...”

“I suppose it is good to keep informed.”  though truthfully Grace didn't follow what was happening in Europe as reading about it made her think of Van, and thinking of Van brought her too much pain.

“Look here, Grace.” Hub said, pointing to a small box in the corner. “It says that a Charlie Chaplin talkie is coming to the Regency next week.”

“Oh! I'll have to check that out!” exclaimed Grace.  “That reminds me.  Boys, you'll never guess who wrote the letter that was awaiting me when I came home from Mother's a few days ago.”

“Bette Davis?” guessed Hub.

“No!” interjected Fat. “Clark Gable!”

Grace giggled and rolled her eyes. “Oh, you two!  No, I heard from Ollie and Marjorie!”

“Really!” exclaimed Hub.  “How are they doing? How is Jake-Hub?”

“Marjorie said that they're all doing well.  She wrote that she gave birth to a girl a few weeks ago!”

“That's wonderful!” said Hub.

“And look at this!” Grace pulled a photo out of her purse.  “They had some photographs taken and sent a photo of Jake-Hub.”  She handed the photo to Hub.

“Wow... he really looks like Alice... still kind of has that mean look in his eyes.”  Hub chuckled.  “Do I get to keep this?”

“No, Marjorie asked me to give it to Mrs. McFarlane.  She thought she might appreciate a photo and might be able to pass it along to Alice.   Have you heard anything from Alice, Hub?”

Hub sighed.  “No, I haven't heard from Alice since she left last January.”

“Oh...” Grace frowned.  “Say Fat, do you have a list of your chess meets?”

***

Out of habit Grace mentally counting the steps to CRNB.   Apparently the Cramps were still too cheap to fix the light that illuminated the stairs.  She paused at the door, waiting for Reverend McClelland to wrap up Bible Hour.   After the on air light went off Grace entered and called out a greeting.

“Why, good evening, Grace.” returned the Reverend as he drew his coat over his shoulders.  “And how are you doing?”

“I'm doing well, thank you.” replied Grace.

As Reverend McClelland adjusted his hat he asked, “Did you wish to speak with me?”

“Oh, no!  I have something I need to discuss with Mr. Flett.” answered.

“I see.  Have a nice evening, Grace.”  Reverend McClelland gave Jim a nod and exited.

Grace walked to where Jim was sitting, surround by stacks of graded papers. “Does Callie know you bring your school work with you?”

Jim flushed, then chuckled.  “No.  I'm sure we both know what Callie would think.”

“I could mention it to Callie and we could find out.  It's been a while since I've seen some of Callie's fireworks.” Grace chuckled.

“That it has.” smiled Jim.  “Did you give any thought to my offer?”

Grace drew in a breath.  “Yes, I have...  I can take the position for you...”

“You don't sound overly excited.”

“No, I suppose not.” replied Grace in a dull tone.  “I have been searching for something to do and nothing has come up.  I figure working nights will give me something to do... if something else comes along do you think you could take the position back?”

Jim looked pensive for a few moments.  “Yes, I think I could.   It could be possible that by then Max would want his class back... this may not be right of me to ask, but why are you looking for something to do, Grace?”

Grace sighed and crumpled into the chair.  “I seem to spend all my time at Toppy's, twiddling my thumbs. It seems everyone has some purpose in their left except me!  I thought I'd found my purpose in life... and then everything blew up.”  A tear meandered down her cheek.

“Grace, I've been meaning to apologize.”

Grace looked up, “Apologize? For what?”

Jim met and held her gaze for a few moments then looked away.  “I'm sorry for not giving you much attention after Valentines Day...  I thought I was ready for a serious relationship... but... then I began to think and I thought too much...  I was quite foolish...”
Grace bit her lip.  “No one is a bigger fool than I.”  Grace shook her head.

“I suppose this isn't my business either,” began Jim, “but what did happen between you and Van.”

Grace sighed and wrung her hands, a habit Jim had always found to be endearing.  “I thought he was my soul mate... he wasn't who I thought he was... he was a con artist.  I don't know how I could have let myself be so duped.”

“A con artist... I would never have speculated that.”

“Oh?  So which rumor did you find to be most believable?” questioned Grace.

“I don't give heed gossip.  Gossip is given wings by jealous people who seek to be in the limelight.”

Silence ensued after that comment until Grace broke it.  “Sometimes I think of traveling... or at least moving out of New Bedford...  thanks to Van I have the money for it, but I refuse to use his ill-gotten gain.  I don't know how Toppy could take all the gossip.  No wonder she and Bob moved to Toronto for a time.”

“Have you heard anything from Van?” asked Jim.

Grace shook her head.  “I asked him to never contact me again.  He did leave me some contact numbers, but I don't plan to use them.”

“Will you ask for a divorce?”

Grace sighed. “I don't know... maybe this was Providence's way of showing me that I'm supposed to remain single...  but no, for now I'll leave things the way they are.” She gave a halfhearted smile and asked, “How are things with you and Miss Collins.”

A smile slowly spread across Jim's. “Things are progressing quite well.”

“That's good...”

Jim gave a little nod.  “I need to head home.  Pritchard is probably wondering what's keeping me.”

“Oh!  I'm sorry, Jim!”

“It's okay, Grace.” assured Jim as he stood.  “It's good for a person to be able to share their thoughts with a friend.”

“Jim...” Grace hesitated.  “Would it be okay if I stayed here for a while... collect my thoughts...

“I would think that would be okay.”  Jim fished in his pocket.  “Here's a key to lock up.   You can give it to Honey tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Jim.”

“You're welcome.   Good night.”

“Night.”

Grace watched Jim leave, then sighed.  Here she was complaining about her woes when Jim had suffered through losing a wife and then struggled with the in-laws insisting that Pritchard should live with them.

She looked about the dark room, thinking of all the hours she'd spent up here sometimes alone,  sometimes with various others who filled time slots, and sometimes with Del.   Del...  another Grace Bailey romance gone awry.  Del had been so helpful in teaching her how to stand and how to find her way... if only he could have learned to find his own way instead of fleeing when things didn't go as  planned.

Grace straightened at that thought.   Perhaps she and Del weren't so different after all.   After all, she was trying to flee from the aftermath of her marriage.   If that trait in Del frustrated her then her uncertainty and desire to flee must be frustrating others as well.
But what could she do to help her find her way.   Working at the station would give her something to do, but would it help fill what was missing in her heart?

***

Hub glanced up and down the dark street several times.  Who, or what, he was looking for he wasn't certain.  He was on his way to the McFarlanes to give Lorna the photo of Jake-Hub.   He should have  made his way to their home earlier, but it had been easy to talk himself out of going, saying that one more day of keeping the photo would be okay.  Then he realized if he knew Lorna had received a photo of Jake-Hub he would have been a little annoyed had he learned she had had it in her possession for a time.   
Reaching the McFarlane door, Hub knocked.   He hoped that Lorna was up yet as it was late to call, but he didn't think he would sleep well if he didn't deliver the photo tonight.   As he waited he glanced down the street, frowning when he noticed that a light was still on at CRNB.   He jumped when the door creaked open.

“What can I do for Hub Bailey at this time of night?” questioned Lorna.

Hub blinked a few times due to light of the lamp shining upon his face.  “I'm sorry for calling so late.  Aunt Grace came by earlier today with a photo of Jake-Hub.  I told her I would give it to you... and was feeling guilty about not giving it to you sooner.”

“A Bailey feeling guilty; imagine that.” Lorna wryly said as she took the photo.  She smiled slightly as she looked at the photo.  After a few moments she handed the photo back to Hub.

“It's yours to keep.” insisted Hub.

“I know, but Gene would destroy it if he found it...  yes, Gene is blind,” Lorna added when she saw Hub's questioning look, “but his other senses are very strong.   I don't want him having another excuse to drink.”

“I understand... if you'd ever like to see it again, let me know.”   Hub turned to leave, then asked, “Have you heard anything from Alice?”

The small glint of happiness disappeared from Lorna's eyes. “No.   The lady she first stayed with for a month wrote Mrs. Bridgeman, but after Alice left I've heard nothing.”

Hub nodded, not knowing what to say.  He felt badly for the hard and thankless life Lorna lived.  “If there's every anything I can do to he-.”

Lorna stiffened and after giving a  “Good night, Hub.” she shut the door.

Hub stood there for a while, ruminating over the conversation and wishing that he could do something to make Lorna's life easier.

He looked down the street again and, noticing that the light was still on at CRNB, he made his way toward the building.  As he approached the light turned off and soon a figure came out the door.   Hub squinted, trying to make out who the person was.

“Aunt Grace?”

The figure jumped and turned.   “Hub! What are you doing out this late?” she asked in a shaky voice.

“Are you all right?”

Grave waved a hand.  “I'm fine, Hub.”

Hub gave her a disbelieving look.

“Really, Hub, I'm fine.” she insisted with a firmer tone. “What are you doing out?”

“I was giving Lorna the photograph.”

“It's a little late for that, isn't it?”

“Yeah...  I was afraid if I didn't give it to her tonight I might never... but she ended up giving it back to me.”

“She did?” queried Grace.

“Yes.  She said that Gene wouldn't be happy if he learned about it...  she said he may be blind, but his senses are keen.” he added.

“Things must be so difficult for her what with Gene's blindness and anger and her daughter leaving...”

“She looked rather gaunt... I wish there were something I could do... but you know Lorna would...”

“Never accept charity, especially from a Bailey.” finished Grace.

Hub sighed.  “Exactly.  Do you have any ideas?”

“No... but... I'll think on it.”  Grace smiled.

“Thanks, Aunt Grace.  I can always depend on you for good ideas.”  Hub gave Grace a tight hug.

“Goodness, Hubert!”  exclaimed Grace.

“That was for earlier.”  Hub winked.

Grace shook her head and smiled “Thanks, Hub.”  Her nephew was growing up.

“Good night, Aunt Grace.”

Grace watched Hub as he walked away.  Maybe living in New Bedford wasn't so bad after all.    She might not know which direction to go in her life, but perhaps she could help her nephews find direction.

***

As Grace made her way to Honey's salon she checked her watch, hoping that she would catch Honey on a break for lunch.  After entering the shop her eyes grew large because the salon was full of people.  She called Honey's name since she couldn't pick her out among all the people.

“Grace! Hello!”

Grace turned toward the voice, finally spotting Honey near the corner of the room, rinsing a lady's hair.  As she walked over she ask, “Why are you so busy this morning?”

“I'm doing my monthly hairdressing for those on relief.” explained Honey.

“Oh! Well, you should have let me know and I would have come sooner and helped!”  Grace looked around the room, thinking that there was no way Honey was going to be able to get to everyone before noon.  “What would you like me to do?”

“Ohh...” Honey bit her lip, trying to think of something Grace would be capable of doing as most of the ladies left were waiting for the finishing touches.  “The men over there are waiting to get their hair cut.”

Half an hour later Grace and Honey watched the last smiling customer walk out the door.

“I don't know how you thought you could manage that all by yourself, Honey!” exclaimed Grace.

“Oh... well...” grinned Honey “I wasn't expecting so many people.  The last two months had been slow enough that I thought about stopping.  I thought for a while that Pearl had stolen them.”

After they shared a laugh Grace held a tin can that had some change in it.  “What is this for?”

“Oh, I put out a can for those who insist on giving me something.   The sign says free, but some people have their pride and insist on giving something, even if it is just a cent.   I felt so guilty taking their money I put out this can, hoping they would realize that if they wanted to give something they could just put it in the can and not be embarrassed that they couldn't give more.”

“What do you do with the money then?”

“I generally go to the mission and give the money to a needy family.” answered Honey.  “It's not generally very much money, but I'd feel guilty if I used it for myself...” she broke off, noticing that Grace didn't seem to be listening.  “Grace, is everything okay?”

Grace looked at Honey for a while, then shrugged.  “As good as I can be I suppose...  I'm trying to find things to stay busy but...” Grace's arms went up in an exasperated motion.

Honey nodded.  “I understand, Grace.   When I was in the sanitarium and feeling well I thought I would go crazy.  I wanted to be with my family so badly, but I knew that I couldn't.  Finding something to do to keep my mind busy was difficult...  Tom- Dr. Asher picked up on my restlessness and was able to engage my mind in subjects that I'd never given much thought to before.  It didn't completely keep my mind off of Max and the children, but it certainly helped.”

“I'm trying to find something, but nothing sounds appealing... or new... or exciting.   I've decided to take Jim up on his offer and take over his night shift at CRNB...  it doesn't excite me, but at least it will keep me busy...”  Grace sighed.

“You'll find something, Grace.”  Honey gave Grace an encouraging smile, then looked at the clock. “Is that really the time?  Oh, Grace, I need to run some errands before the next appointment!  I'm sorry I don't have time to talk longer.”

“Oh, that's okay, Honey.  You gave me something to do- and make sure you let me know the next time you have a relief hairdressing day!”  Grace dug in her purse and pulled out a key.  “Oh! I almost forgot the reason I came!  I'm supposed to give this to you to give to Jim Flett.”

“Oh?” questioned Honey.

Grace waved her hand. “It's a long story.”

As Honey put on her coat she asked, “Do you think you could take the money in the can and give it to a family at the mission for me?   I don't think I'll be able to get to it until tomorrow... not that it can't wait, but it's something for you to do.” 

***

After entering the Mission Home Grace scanned the room, hoping to spot a family that looked particularly needy.  She was surprised how many people were at the Mission Home.    She hadn't volunteered at the home for quite some time, and at that time there were only half as many people as there were now.  Spotting Mrs. Barlow, Grace made her way over and tapped  Iris on the shoulder.

“Why, hello, Grace!” greeted Iris.

“Hello, Mrs. Barlow.”  Grace glanced around, realizing that their conversation shouldn't take place in the gathering room. “Um... could I speak to you in the office?”

“Certainly!”  After reaching the office Iris asked, “What can I do for you, Grace?”

Grace explained why she was at the home and asked if Iris could recommend a family.    Iris mentioned three families and gave Grace some information on them and left Grace to decide which family to bequeath the small portion of money.

Once again Grace stood at the door to the gathering room scanning the room.  As she observed the families it struck her that despite the loss of a father and brother as well as disappointments and heartbreaks that she truly did have a blessed and privileged life.   Reflecting upon this she realized what it was she wanted to do.

***

Grace shivered as she walked to May's home.  After discovering what she wanted to do for the next while in her life she spent the evening planning ways to save money.   One was not driving her car.  Gas wasn't all that expensive, but she never went anywhere that wasn't within reasonable walking distance.  She'd decided last night that doing without something only meant saving a few cents  that the money would still accumulate and be greatly appreciated.   She still had one more thing that she wanted to do, but it was up to her mother to help and Grace wasn't certain how willing May would be.

Entering the back door Grace gave a hello to Juanita, who was cleaning the breakfast dishes.   “How is mother doing this morning?”

“Oh, she's her usual, ornery self this morning.” replied Juanita as she dried a dish.  “She's in the sitting room.”

Grace paused at the glass doors before entering the room.  While Mother had softened a bit in the past year she was still intimidating.

Taking a deep breath Grace breezing into the room.  “Good morning, Mother!”

“Why, Grace! I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me!”

Grace gave a nervous giggle.  “Now, Mother, I was here just last week.”

“Last week, exactly!”

“Oh, Mother! I've been busy!”  pleaded Grace.

“So I hear.” replied May.  “Working for Callie Cramp again.  Oh, Grace, I thought you had more sense than that.”

Grace was always surprised with how her mother kept up on everything happening in New Bedford.  Her first night at CRNB would be tonight!

“It's only temporary, Mother, until Mr. Flett is able to resume his duties... but that wasn't what I came to talk to you about.”

“So, you've found something that you want to do?”

“Yes... and no... something to do for the time being... to keep myself busy until something else comes along.   After various things transpired last week I've felt burdened to help families in need.   At first I was going to put Van's money to use, but I can't bring myself to touch the money.  I'm going to use whatever money I can spare and anonymously have it given to needy people at the Mission.   I'm also going to start volunteering again at the Mission as well as other places.   I've never really truly suffered, not as some of these people have...  what I can give may not be much, but at least I'll be doing something and will keep my mind off myself.”

May smiled and gave Grace an approving look.

“There is something else I would like to do... but I would need your help, Mother.”

“What would that be?”

“Well...” Grace clenched her hands together. “I would like to help the McFarlanes.  You know that Lorna won't except any help... but I thought that perhaps the pension you give them each month could maybe start including something other than just money.”

“What do you have in mind, Grace?” questioned May.

“Well,” Grace continued, “I thought perhaps during the winter months you could arrange for some wood to be dropped off... and maybe a few cans of food... or perhaps open an account at Vreeker's, set up for groceries...  whatever it is, it would have to come from you and not appear to be charity.”

May was quiet for a time.  “I think you have a point, Grace.   There have been times I have wished I could do more for the McFarlanes, but Lorna won't accept anything she feels is over and above the pension.  I think that if I gave her less money, but did a few things that you mentioned that she would accept it...” She fell silent again.  “You've come a long way, Grace.”

Grace looked up, confused.  “Pardon?”

“Just a few years ago all you would have rambled on about for the past week was the Charlie Chaplin talkie.   You would have purchased numerous magazines that featured an article about the film.  Instead you've spent the week learning about yourself and finding ways to help others in the community.   I'm proud of you, Grace.”

Grace gave a shaky smile.  “You still cease to amaze me, Mother.”

***

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