Wind at My Back: Second Chances

by Marilyn S.

Grace woke up in her bed, groggy from having slept little from the night before.  She slowly went downstairs to the kitchen, hoping that some tea would make her feel better.  She put the kettle on the burner and turned on the stove.

“Grace, what are you doing up?”

It amazed Grace how after all these years, her mother’s voice still made her stop in her tracks.  Grace turned to face her mother.  May Bailey, even when she is frail, still could dominate a room.

“Good morning, Mother.  Would you like some tea?”

May said, “I will, but I also want to talk.  You clearly aren’t getting much sleep this week.  Are you having nightmares again?”

Grace sighed.  She didn’t want to talk to her mother about the nightmares.  Grace didn’t want to burden her as she was still weak from her bout with pneumonia.  And Mae was never an easy person to confide in.  Still Grace rarely talked to anyone else about the nightmares.  Toppy and Honey were her best friends, but they wouldn’t understand, not completely.  Only May really understood about the nightmares.  Because she was there.  She witnessed the horrors of Europe right along with Grace. 

“I can’t forget what I saw.  The buildings being destroyed.  Fire everywhere.  The bodies.  I can only imagine what Van must have felt fighting over there, what his last moments were like.”

“Grace, I am sorry that Van is dead, but I’m not sorry he is gone from your life.  He hurt and humiliated you and I will never forgive him for that.  So please stop grieving for him and move on with your life.”

Grace said, “I have moved on from Van, for the most part.  The point is, Van felt he had to redeem himself or prove worthy of me, and so he goes off to war.  How many other men are doing the same thing, trying to prove themselves, only to die?  How many people’s lives are being ruined by war?  You saw those wounded men in the hospital, Mother.  You saw the women and children who lost their homes.  I just wish there was something I could do to help those suffering.  I wish more people would understand what it is really like over in Europe.”

“There’s isn’t much we can do   Remember, you made that broadcast of our journey in Spain and Callie Cramp nearly fired you for putting “depressing” and “inappropiate” material on the radio.” 

Grace smiled at the memory of Mrs. Cramp barging into the radio station after her broadcast.  Grace had never seen Mrs. Cramp’s face turn so red before.  Fortunately, Mr. Cramp was able to calm his wife down before she made good on her threat to fire Grace.  Mrs. Cramp then told her that she would make the final decision on what scripts Grace could broadcast.  Therefore, there would be no reports about Europe anytime soon.

A knock on the front door broke Grace’s train of thought.  Grace opened the door and was surprised to see Jim Flett standing there. 

“Good morning, Grace.  I know it’s a bit early, but I was hoping that I could convince you to take a walk with me.”

Grace looked back at her mother who replied, “Go ahead, Grace.  Maisey will be up soon and it’s not like I need constant supervision anyway.”

Grace nervously walked outside with Jim.  Ever since she came back from Europe, Grace only saw Jim on a few occasions.  The only time they were alone was when Jim invited her out to lunch to ask for Grace’s help in planning a surprise graduation party for Pritchard.  Grace wondered what was so important that Jim wanted to speak to her now.

As if reading her mind, Jim said, “Grace, I know things have been awkward between us lately and I wanted to talk to you before this, but I never could get up the courage.  But now, I have something I must tell you.  The University of Toronto has offered me a position as a physics professor.  It is a job I always wanted and now that Pritchard is also going to the university, I’ll still be close to my son.”

“Wow, Jim that is great news.  I am so happy for you!”

Jim put up a hand.  “Please, let me finish.  As great as this opportunity is, I will miss New Bedford.  I will miss my friends here.  One person in particular.  You.  I know I blew my first chance with you.  But I honestly have moved on from Kathleen.  If you can give me a second chance, I will stay here in New Bedford”.

Suddenly Jim bent down on one knee.  “Grace Bailey, I love you.  I think I have ever since that Valentine’s Day dance.  Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“What?  Are you really proposing?” Grace started hiccuping, “No, no (hic).  I can’t believe this. Jim, please get up. (hic)”

“What’s wrong?  Was I too forward?”

Grace took a couple deep breaths and said, “Jim, it’s too soon.  I finally feel as if I can move on from Van and my disastrous marriage.  But I am not ready to jump into another marriage.  It’s also not fair for you to propose when you gave me no hints that you wanted us to get back together.  I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you, now right now.”

Grace, tears welling up, walked away from Jim and in the opposite direction of home.  There was no way she could face her mother right now.  She would obviously ask questions about why Jim wanted to see her.  So she continued walking for a half hour.  Finally her legs felt tired and the lack of sleep caught up with her.  Grace sat down on the side of the road and laid her head on her knees.  Then she heard a car stop suddenly and a door opening and closing.

A familiar voice called out, “Grace, what’s wrong?  Are you hurt?”

Grace looked up and answered, “Oh, Honey, everything is wrong.  I can’t sleep, I feel like I’m at my wit’s end, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“For now, you are coming with me where we’ll go to the gazebo where you can tell me what is bothering you so much.  I’m sorry that I haven’t been available much since you came back.  But I’m here now.”

Grace smiled at her old friend and the two ladies got into the car and drove to the gazebo.  There Grace told Honey everything.  From her nightmares, her worries about May’s health, to Jim’s proposal.  Honey handed Grace tissues from her purse when she started crying.

Once she composed herself, Grace said, “The funny thing is, part of me was thrilled when Jim proposed.  But I realized I can’t keep him here and away from his dream job.  I can’t go to Toronto with him either.  I can’t leave Mother.  And how can I think of planning such a happy occasion with everything going on in Europe?”

“Grace, I think the most important thing for you to do is to decide what you want and what is right for you.  Whether you marry Jim or not should be up to you.  If you stay in New Bedford, it should be your decision, not your mother’s.  I admired you for going back to the Bailey home and taking care of your mother.  While your mother may still be weak, she is doing fine overall.  Maisey certainly can help her.  If your mother needs more help, she can ask Juanita to come back.  If Jack’s death and my bout with TB has taught me anything, it’s that you never know when your time is up.  Your mother could live to be 100 for all we know.  Knowing May Bailey, she probably will.”

Both women chuckled, and Honey continued, “Grace, your broadcast about your time in Europe was great.  Your story and Anna’s story needs to be heard.  When I took my course at the University of Toronto, my history professor also worked at the local radio station.  He doesn’t have anybody like Mrs. Cramp shutting him down.  He can help get you a job at the station if you want.  Maybe if you keep reporting on events in Europe, you can come to terms with what you saw there and won’t have to worry about the nightmares anymore.”

“Thanks Honey.  I will think about what you said.  We should have these kind of talks more often.”

Honey hugged her, “Even if I’m busy, we’ll make time.  Speaking of which, I’m supposed to meet with your mother.  I was actually on my way to meet her when I found you.  Did you want to come with me?”
“No, I’m not ready to talk to Mother yet.  When you see Mother, don’t tell her what we talked about.  Just tell her you saw me going to the radio station, which I’m going to, right now.  Did she tell you why she wanted to see you?”

Honey shook her head, “No, she didn’t.  She just said it was important.  I better get going before she gets suspicious.  I’ll call you soon to see how you are doing.”

Grace waved good-bye to Honey and walked over to the radio station.  She just hoped that Mrs. Cramp wouldn’t be in a bad mood today.

****************************************************************************

Honey apologized to May for being late, but the older woman didn’t seem to mind.  She appeared preoccupied and deep in thought.  This only made Honey more apprehensive, wondering if May was thinking of Hub.

“So Mother Bailey, Hub told me about the last conversation you two had.  I want to thank you for not being angry with him for what he plans to do with his salary from the mine.”

“You mean finding that Jewish girl he is smitten with?  And bringing her back here and possibly her family?  I don’t really approve of his plans, but I promised Hubert that I wouldn’t interfere with his choices.”

“I wish I was that smart last Christmas.  I wasn’t supportive of Hub’s and Anna’s relationship and I was so unfair to her.  Thankfully I apologized before she left and Hub and I are fine now.  It wasn’t even because she was Jewish.  I just was so worried about Hub getting involved in a dangerous situation and I was disappointed because I knew he wouldn’t become a priest like I hoped.  I wasn’t seeing how happy Hub was with Anna.  Then I realized my behavior wasn’t that different from how you treated me when I married Jack.  I’m sorry I shouldn’t bring up old wounds.  It’s just . .”

May interrupted, “But that’s exactly why I asked you to come here.  Hubert is a smart young man and he reminded me of how awful things turned out between me and Jack.  I made that promise to Hubert because he warned me that history could repeat itself if I tried to stop his plans to reunite with Anna.  It made me so happy this summer to see Hubert working at the mine again.  It also made me realize how much I needed him in my life.”

“Honey, you’ve known me long enough to know I hate to apologize.  I’d rather walk barefoot on hot coals.  Still there is one person I should have apologized to a long time ago but I haven’t.  Until now.  I was wrong to keep you away from your children after Jack died.  I treated you horribly and there was no excuse for my actions.  I truly am sorry for all the hurt I caused Honey and I hope you can forgive me.”

Honey took a deep breath and fought back tears before she could speak, “Wow.  I never thought this day would come. May,  I accept your apology and I do forgive you.  Deep down, I forgave you years ago.  Yes, that was the worst time of my life, but it also led to some good things.  By moving here, I met Max, and we have a good life together and a wonderful son, Zack.  We still have our differences, but we are closer than we were.  You saved my life when I had TB.  You, Grace, and Toppy were there for my children when I couldn’t be.  As far as I’m concerned, you have redeemed yourself.”

May took a small envelope and handed it to Honey and said, “There is one more matter I’d like to discuss.  Do you recognize this?”

Honey pulled out the papers from the envelope.  She said, “It’s the deed to the house that my brother found for me and the boys years ago.  What is the meaning of this?”

“I want you and Max to have it.  I was wrong to buy it out from you in the first place.”

“Mrs. Bailey, I can’t take this.  It is too much and I . .”

May snapped, “Honey, don’t be a fool!  I tried to give it to you before and your pride wouldn’t allow it.  I know how much you and Max would love to live in a house.  This is your chance.  Hubert and Henry might be too old for it to matter now, but it will help Violet and Zack.  They can have a better home environment then living in the New Bedford Hotel.  Do you really want to continue to pay money to the insufferable Cramps?  Since Max is mayor, he should have a suitable home.”

“All good points.  But I should tell you that Max is stepping down as mayor at the end of the year.  He was juggling too many things at once and it’s been wearing him down.  He would rather remain at the school as the principal.  He is also finishing a novel which he will send to the publishers soon.  Max will make an announcement next month so I hope you can keep this between us for now.”

“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.  I say that the principal of the school needs a suitable home too.  If you don’t take the house now, I’ll just leave it to you in my will.  Either way you are stuck with the house.  Might as well enjoy it now.”

Honey laughed, “It looks like I don’t have much of a choice.  I still want to talk it over with Max tonight.  I can convince him to take the house and handle his pride.  You can be a stubborn old bird, you know that?”

“So I have been told, and sometimes in less flattering language.”

“Thank you, May.  Max and I will be back soon to settle the paperwork.”

Once Honey left, May smiled to herself.  Her mood felt lighter than it had in a long time.  She didn’t know how much time she had left.  When her time came, she wanted to leave this world with as few regrets as possible.  Today was a big step in helping to fix her biggest mistakes.     

*****************************************************************

Two days later, Hub was reading in his bedroom when Fat walked in.

“Hub, I need a favor.  A really big favor.”

“Uh-oh.  Why do I think I’m not gonna like this?”

Fat snapped, “I’m serious!  I got the application for the RCAF in the mail today.  I want to go to training in the fall.  I want you to support me when I ask Mom and Max to let me go.”

“I thought Mom told you no when you brought the subject up last month.  Max didn’t seem too thrilled either.”

“Mom is just worried and overprotective as usual.  Max thinks that I’m not taking the Air Force seriously, that I think it’s fancy flying like what Fred Wales did.  But I really want to join.  And if you tell them you agree with me, we might change their minds.”

“Fat, can I ask why this is so important to you?  What happened to becoming a Mountie?”

“I might join the Mounties someday.  But right now, war is gonna start in Europe.  You said it yourself, that Great Britain and other countries were about to declare war on Germany.  Once that happens, Canada will join in.  Dad fought in the Great War.  I want to serve my country.  I want to make him proud of me.”

At the mention of his father, Hub felt a pang in his heart.  He missed his father to this day.  While Max was a great step-father, there were times Hub wondered what his life would be like if Jack Bailey was still alive.  What would he think of his sons?  How would he react to the impending war?

Hub sighed, “I don’t think Dad would want you to go to war just because you want to make him proud.  He already would be proud.  Mom and Max are.  Heck, even I’m proud of you.  Well, some of the time.  If you really want to serve your country and maybe fight in a war, then I’ll support you.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes I do.  I think what you’re doing is brave.  With some training, you could be a good soldier.  And we have to beat the Nazis.  The sooner the better.”

After a slight pause, Fat asked, “You really miss Anna, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.  Not a day goes by where I don’t wonder where she is and if she is safe.”

“Do you think you’ll ever see her again?”
“I hope so, Fat.  You know I’m saving most of the money I am making at the mine.  Someday, I will go to the States and look for her.  I will try to bring her back here with me.  Maybe I can bring her family too.  I can’t give up hope that I’ll see her again.”

“So when do we ambush Mom and Max?  Before or after dinner?

“After dinner and after Violet and Zack are in bed.  That way, we have their full attention.”

Fat smiled, “Sounds good.  Thanks Hub.”      

*************************************************************************

Meanwhile, Grace went to Toppy’s house.  Toppy pleaded with her on the phone that she needed to see her and it couldn’t wait.

“Toppy, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?”

Toppy replied, “I’m fine, but Pritchard isn’t.  He came to see me an hour ago.  Jim is leaving for Toronto tonight.”

“What?  But he isn’t due at the university for another two weeks.”

“According to Pritchard, Jim wants to find an apartment and settle in first.  The poor boy blames himself.  It was Pritchard’s idea for Jim to propose.  He told his father that it would prove that he was serious about reuniting with you.  He wanted to see his father happy and not alone.”

“Poor Pritchard.  He was always so fond of me.  I’m sorry I hurt him.”

Toppy said, “But there’s still time.  Grace, go.  Stop Jim from leaving.”

“How?  I wouldn’t know what to say to him.”

Toppy sighed, “I’ll be blunt.  You know I always thought that you and Jim would make a good couple.  Of all your beaus, Jim was the best man for you.  He loved you the best.  He is the one that can truly make you happy.  Yes, he broke up with you.  But I doubt he ever stopped loving you.  I don’t think you stopped loving him either. 

“Grace, you deserve to be with someone.  Do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone?  Should Jim be alone?  Yes, he has Pritchard, but eventually the boy will leave the nest and start his own life. Would it be fair to deny Jim some happiness because you are scared now? I know you don’t want to rush into another marriage.  But you have known Jim longer and better than you knew Van.”

Suddenly everything clicked for Grace.    She remembered her conversation with Honey.  She knew Toppy was right.  She jumped out of her chair.

“Toppy, get the car.  I’m too nervous to drive.”

Toppy and Grace ran to the car and drove to the New Bedford Hotel.  Grace saw Jim’s car parked in front.  Then she noticed Jim was in the driver’s seat.

“No, no, no.  Don’t go.”

Grace practically jumped out of the car and started running.  “Jim, wait!  Stop!”

She could hear Pritchard yelling at his father to stop the car.  Finally Grace reached the car.  She caught her breath, waiting as Jim stepped out of the car.

“Jim, don’t go, not yet.  I was wrong earlier.  I love you.  Yes, I’ll marry you.  That is if you’ll still have me.”

Jim smiled at Pritchard and said, “I think I’m staying in New Bedford.”

Grace answered, “No.  It would be wrong to make you give up on this job.  I know how much it means to you.  I’m going with you.  I’ll work at the Toronto radio station.  Honey said I could broadcast whatever I wanted.  I need to tell people about what’s happening in Europe.  We can leave here after the wedding.”

“But what about your mother and your family here?

“Mother will be fine.  She’ll have plenty of help without me.  This is what I want, Jim.”

With that, Jim leaned over and kissed Grace.  This would be the start of a new life for them.

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